Odessa Straub. Necrotizing Woos

About

An old lady who looks like a madam because she has a good cane, syrupy style and puppets the young around for the drama.

Always have to be thinking about an end game because being bonsai-ed is painful in real time.

“Can’t you keep a puppy locked in a small cage so it won’t ever get any bigger?” -A friend

Your crazy. I wrote enraged letters to the bonsai-kitten customer service email because of this. Satire can be too amenable to what you’re looking to laugh at.

Did you know that if you have fingers sewn back on you get put on bed rest so u don't accidentally blast them off their stitches with all your pent up blood rage? You have to coax them into the stairwell of your basement (with Five Guys fries and a gurgly baby voice) like unappreciative feral animals, until they will come inside.

The old Packard named Irene got a complete engine makeover so they could drive it 30 miles an hour and get swoopy hat waves because it’s painted buttery yellow and the top’s down.

It’s not the same Irene if it’s got all new insides but it’s less of the same Irene if they had to let it go because the cost of fixing it up is more than the novelty of having it around.

I always thought Irene was used best when idling in a closed garage to asphyxiate skunks into stoles for the drippy style of the old lady with the good cane, but change is acceptable.